Son of a Preacher Man
by Robert Symes
Chapter 3
This story is set (mostly) in rural England in 2025. I hope that references to cars, TV shows or music won't spoil the story for those who don't know them. Follow the links provided for more information or just ignore them. (And yes, I know you can use a search engine just as well as I can. The links are for convenience, not to insult anyone.)
' Bones ' is a real person, winner of last year's Drag Race UK. The seemingly inconsistent pronouns reflect the real person's preferences. The story and all the other characters are fictional. There is no suggestion 'Bones' ever did these things.
Some mildly controversial opinions will be expressed. It is this author's policy to have no opinions about anything, or at least not to state them. Any opinions you see on these pages are those of the characters or the site owner respectively and I neither endorse nor oppose them.
Butterfly
They went into the house, Jared washed his face, and they sat around the kitchen table, where Aubrey's phone could connect through the internet. He placed a call and put the phone on speaker. It rang a couple of times then: "Hey, Aubrey, long time no hear. How's wedded bliss in darkest Milton Keynes? Do let me know if you're down in the Big Smoke [London] any time."
"Hey, Keith, or do you prefer Gloria these days? We're not in Milton Keynes any more, now we're right out in the sticks. I'll send you our new address but we literally only moved in yesterday. Just so you know you're on speaker and I'm here with my son and his friend and they're interested in drag but don't know where to start so I thought Gloria Monday could help since you owe me a favour. We'd really appreciate it. Are you still friends with Paul? I mean Bones of course."
"Well, I haven't seen Paul for a while, he's too busy. As for Bones, man, that girl be goin' places! She's out of my league now. She taught me all I know but not all she knows. She's only a contestant on Drag Race this year. I get the odd gig but I still have a day job. But if humble Gloria will suffice I'll be glad to help your boys. Who are you, how old, and why are you interested?"
"I'm Jared, sixteen. I used to be Paolo. Paolo's ex-family hate him and they taught him to hate himself. Jared's loved and wanted but he's struggling. An alter ego as a confident sassy queen might help but I'm not sure so I don't want to waste a lot of money until I am."
"And I'm Mark, also sixteen. Sorry, no offence but I'm really not interested in being a girl. But Jared suggested it as a way for me to go to Pride and not risk being recognised."
"Don't waste your money then Mark" said Keith/Gloria. "If you come to London the day before I can do things with hair and make-up so's your own mother won't know you and it'll all wash out in the shower afterwards. And do learn the difference between drag and trans; very few of us want to be girls.
"And Jared, we can economise but you will need shoes and a wig and they don't come cheap. Minimum forty or fifty quid each, and a lot more for good ones. How much can you spend?"
"As little as possible but as much as necessary" cut in Aubrey. "Economise but don't scrimp. This boy's worth whatever it takes. And if you can help him I'll make it worth your while."
"I'll pretend I didn't hear that. You helped me when I needed it, now I'm paying it forward. And helping him will be worth my while. I don't want paying. Jared, do you have any thoughts on a name or a look?"
Jared thought for a moment. "Something that reflects my Italian heritage, I think, since certain people say I'm a disgrace to it. You know the thing, dark, sexy, Italian girl, maybe a pastiche of that but don't spend a fortune it's still just an experiment. Name? Let me think now... Ah I've got it. How about Dulcie Vita? As in La Dolce Vita?"
"I like it. I'm getting a few ideas already. Can you get Aubrey to email me your measurements? And if you don't mind a photo would really help. I'll see what I can borrow or scrounge and put together something that will look good as cheap as I can. Leave it with me. Maybe you and your friend could come here for a dress rehearsal before?"
They thanked Keith/Gloria profusely and left it at that. Jared's mood had switched from savage to manic at the prospect of this new adventure. The others were careful to avoid mentioning the past in order to keep it that way and soon enough Mark had to leave to get home by six for dinner. He was offered a lift but preferred to walk. It helped him think, and he had a lot to think about.
Mark told his parents he was becoming friends with the boy who'd moved into Talbot House, just up the road from Granddad, who Mum had met briefly last Sunday when she picked him up. Mum had liked Jared and Aubrey so when Mark raised the prospect of a weekend in London staying with a friend of Aubrey's they weren't completely against it. "But not until after your GCSEs" stipulated Dad.
"And I'll want to speak to this Keith first" said Mum "to make sure you'll be properly looked after. But as long as you're safe it sounds like something you'd enjoy. A change of scene, perhaps." Mark carefully didn't mention 'Gloria Monday' or the gay/drag scene.
On Thursday evening Mark cycled over to Jared's for a 'conference call' with Keith/Gloria. Trevor had mixed feelings about this enterprise and preferred not to be involved so had arranged to be out. "I've put together an outfit for 'Dulcie' that I hope you'll like. I've e-mailed the costs to Aubrey and he's already paid them so nothing to worry about there. But I need you here in person to try it on and so I can teach you makeup" explained Keith. "So, next weekend is about the only time I can do it. Can you boys come down then?"
"No, sorry, I can't." Mark was disappointed but Dad had been firm. "I've got exams so June 21 st is the first I'd be allowed to come."
"That's too close to Pride, Jared will need time to practice. Anyway, I'm busy then with a big summer solstice party. But we don't really need you. Perhaps Jared could come alone. Watching him learn makeup would be very boring for you anyway. But you'll both be welcome for Pride weekend. I won't be able to take you to watch the parade because I'm helping at Dean Street but I'll find someone to do it."
"What's Dean Street?" asked Mark.
"Well, it's part of Pride but away from the parade route. They have different stages. The main one's in Trafalgar Square but Dean Street is the drag and cabaret stage and they're always shorthanded. Usual story, everybody wants to go to the party, nobody wants to do the grot work. I said I'd help out."
"Do you need another helper? I'm not much of a one for sitting around for hours watching things. If I'm backstage I can soak up the atmosphere, feel like I'm part of something, and not risk being on telly. I don't know anything but I can fetch and carry, make tea, and I'm a dab hand with a broom."
"Make that two" added Jared. "It sounds like a great way to get close to the queens and be a help not a nuisance. We can watch the parade on telly later."
"I'll ask but I'm sure they'll be glad to have you. We put shows on until late, then we clear up, and then it's party time. Maybe a chance for Dulcie to make her debut, I'll make enquiries. Meanwhile can we expect you a week Saturday? Let me know what time you'll get here. See you in July, Mark."
Friday 4th July 2025. Independence Day in America but also for Mark and Jared or so it felt as they boarded the early evening coach to London Victoria. Mrs Lewis had driven them to their nearest pick-up point but now they were on their own, leaving their conservative rural area for the alien world of London Pride.
Mark had been spending time with Jared, particularly the last two weeks now GCSEs were done with but had yet to meet Dulcie. Jared was adamant that her debut would be at Pride and no-one was to see her before that.
From Victoria they took a taxi to Keith's flat. Whatever Keith's 'day job' was it must pay well because he was able to afford a two bedroom, two bathroom, flat in a fairly central location. Keith's partner was in New York on business, sorry to miss Pride but looking forward to Independence Day celebrations in Times Square apparently.
After chatting to Keith for a while they had a last drink and snack and then shared the spare bedroom. ("Just to sleep, please, boys, I was young once, but you've a long and busy day tomorrow" urged Keith. He didn't know they hadn't had a chance to take their relationship much beyond kissing yet.)
In the morning they had a leisurely breakfast and then headed over to Dean Street to start setting up. Mark would be fetching and carrying backstage and running errands so no need to disguise his appearance. Jared was helping in and around the queens' dressing room so they'd be apart for the day. He was carrying a small suitcase and refused to say what was in it, assuring Mark that he'd find out soon enough.
The day was, as promised, long and busy but Mark thoroughly enjoyed it. And he loved what he could see and hear of what was happening on the stage. When it finally came to an end they cleared up and headed for a private 'friends and helpers' party in a nearby function room. Jared was nowhere to be seen; Keith said he'd be along shortly.
A little later two feminine looking figures entered through a side door and ascended the stage. "It's Bones" said someone excitedly.
The DJ cut the music. "Most of you know me," Bones spoke into a microphone, "and I may do a turn for you later but I seem to have lost my partner. 'The Flesh is weak' you might say. But for now please give it up for the first ever public appearance of Miss Dulcie Vita!"
Mark stared in amazement at the person he knew to be Jared. He (she?) was absolutely unrecognisable in a simple but elegant red gown, a wig of black hair and understated but effective makeup. At a glance she looked like a woman in her twenties. As she took the microphone she looked like she might collapse from nerves but then recovered her poise.
As the applause and catcalls died down she addressed the room: "Thank you, thank you. Well this is my first time and I'm absolutely bricking it." (Laughter) "I'd just like to sing you a song, and dedicate it to my mentor, or drag-mama I think you call it, Miss Gloria Monday. Seriously, thank you Keith, thanks to my adoptive dads Aubrey and Trevor, who are only here in spirit, and my more-than-friend Mark who's been slaving away all day. Come up and take a bow, Mark." Embarrassed, Mark got on stage and looked out at all the strangers wishing him well. "And now" added Dulcie "on with the motley. Sorry, Keith, I hope you can forgive me, I couldn't resist it."
As soon as the first chord blasted out Keith broke up laughing, soon joined by others, as some old song Mark didn't know started. " Gloria, you're always on the run now" were the first words of the lyric and he started to get the joke. Well, two can play that game, he thought impulsively, and as Dulcie danced around lip-syncing he went to talk to the DJ about an even older song that he did know. The DJ didn't have it in his set but obligingly downloaded it from a website.
As 'Gloria' faded out and Dulcie revelled in the applause Mark looked out at the sea of faces and wondered what the hell he'd done but he couldn't back out now without looking a fool. As the next song started he took the microphone from Dulcie, looked at her and started miming.
Jared didn't seem to know it and looked confused until it got to the chorus: "The only one who could ever reach me, was the son of a preacher man. The only boy who could ever teach me, was the son of a preacher man. Yes he was." And then he smiled. Most of the audience had a WTF look but Mark didn't care – he wasn't doing it for them.
When the song ended Mark bowed to Jared/Dulcie and spoke into the microphone. "I wouldn't have missed today for anything and it's all down to you. This really has been 'A Grand Day Out.'" Then he took him/her in his arms and kissed his 'friend' on stage to more applause, catcalls and shouts of 'get a room.'
As the kiss ended Dulcie took the mic and said in a higher pitch than normal "If you think today's been good then 'Just you wait 'til I get you home young man.'"
And as Bones chivvied them off the stage to do her own 'turn' Mark knew that his 'grand day' wasn't over yet.
The End
At least, the end for now. There may be a sequel some day. I could have fun with Gloria and Dulcie.
Voting
This story is part of the 2026 story challenge "Inspired by a Picture: A Grand Day Out". The other stories may be found at the challenge home page. Please read them, too. The voting period of 20 March 2026 to 10 April is when the voting is open. This story may be rated, below, against a set of criteria, and may be rated against other stories on the challenge home page.
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