Unlikely Valentine
by Rob Warr
Chapter 1
The crush
I saw him again today, and ohmigod, I think he saw me staring at him. Not that I'm the only one who stares at that god of a boy, Dylan Hanes. He's just got too much yumminess for one boy to have. Girls swoon, other boys wish they were him, and a few, like me: would like to kiss him all over, and...well, that's a bit x-rated and I want to keep this clean.
I guess I should introduce myself, even though probably no one will ever read this but me, but it will make more sense if I'm not just a nameless ghost writer with no stats. Yeah, I said stats. I know what that means, I learned about it online in a chat room when I was ten.
Okay, I'm getting off topic. I'm 13 now, a real teen, and my name is Joshua Billingsly. I'm in 8th grade at Harding Middle School and I live with my folks, Dan and Betty Billingsly and my squirt of a kid brother, Kenny. Just kidding, he's not that bad, but you know, he's 10, I'm a teenager, and we travel in different circles as they say. No, truthfully, I don't really have a circle. In fact, he has more of a circle than I do. He's a Boy Scout and has that circle, plus he's a friend magnet at school and in the neighborhood. He attracts them like flies, but he doesn't smell...lol.
But back to me, I'm 98 lbs soaking wet...lol, and I'm a bit short for my age at just five feet. I have wavy brown hair and green eyes, and I'm not butt ugly or anything. I've been told I'm cute by several girls and my mom, and that I have a nice smile and I have no reason to doubt them. Kenny is like a smaller version of me, but he has dad's brown eyes and I got mom's green ones.
As far as bros go, we get along fine, and up until I was twelve we shared a room. It was about then that I found out about...um, self pleasure, and I needed some privacy to perform my nightly ritual. Fortunately, Kenny wasn't upset, and I suspect he knew why I was moving out, as he called it, because I think the little squirt was doing some self pleasuring of his own. Nuff about that.
Oh, yeah...one important detail, I'm gay. I guess you probably already figured that out since I was drooling over another boy, but I just wanted to make it clear. I'm a boy, I like boys, I'm gay. Get over it. No, I don't like girls that way, but I'm not saying that couldn't change some day. I'm not closed-minded about it, but I pretty much figured out that I like boys way back in 6th grade. Oh, not the sex thing, but I had crushes, boys I really liked and wanted to be around, but of course I was too scared to tell any of them about my feelings. Instead I was friends with those I could befriend and admired the others from afar.
But when puberty hit me just about the time I turned 12, my suspicions were at last confirmed. Now, not only was I crushing on boys I was...um, thinking about the things we could do behind closed doors, if you know what I mean. And of course, kissing, oh how badly I wanted to kiss a boy, any boy, well...not Kenny, yuck, but a boy my age, maybe someone sexy like Dylan...sigh.
So, the hormones kicked in and my nightly ritual became a sometimes after school or in the shower, plus nightly ritual. So, see it was a good thing I moved out into my own space. But those rituals can only do so much to keep me from getting...um, excited, and I have to be careful around other boys so as not to give myself away.
The showers after PE are brutal sometimes. Thank god Dylan isn't in my PE class or I'd have to give up showers and go to fourth period all stinky and that wouldn't last long. In fact, showers are mandatory for all PE classes except sixth period, which is the last class of the day. The kids in 6th hour can either shower or go home stinky, their choice.
But why am I rambling on about showers and stinky boys and stuff like that? What I really want to talk about is my latest crush, Dylan Hanes.
Dylan wasn't one of the kids I'd gone to grade school with, or even 7th grade. He'd moved here the summer before 8th grade, and was new to Harding Middle School. However, it took me several weeks to finally notice him. Unfortunately I had no classes with this hunk of a boy who I will now try to describe.
He's blond, blue-eyed, so pretty he makes me want to cry, with dimples and the sweetest smile, which seems to be perpetually on his cute face. And as if that wasn't enough, his bod is...gawd...to die for. The boy has a six pack already, or at least a four pack, and a flat tummy and...I'm gonna pass out...someone throw water on me...lol.
How do I know that? You wonder. Well, I saw him shirtless. And yes, I remained conscious and didn't stroke out.
Here's how that happened. In third period class one day I asked to go to the bathroom and as I passed the nurse's office I happened to notice a boy with his back to me slowly taking off his shirt. Well, even if I didn't know who the boy was at first I soon figured it out from the blond hair and cute butt. Oh, did I forget to mention he has a cute butt?
Anyway, instead of going to the bathroom I slunk, is that a word, or is it slinked? Oh well, anyway, I hung around outside the open door, out of sight of course, and watched that god like boy reveal his chest and stomach to the nurse.
I have no idea why he did that, but at that particular moment I was wishing I was Ms. Holbrook, the nurse. Then he started to turn around and I panicked but managed to keep out of sight and get a good look at that chest and tummy, and now not only did I need to pee, I needed to...well, you know. So...I hurried off to the bathroom and took a stall and soon had matters well in hand...he he.
That's why I'd be terrified if he was in my PE class cause I'd be getting into trouble all the time just from staring at him. The other boys would laugh at me, and Dylan might punch me out, and Coach would not be happy. So, best to daydream about him at home or from afar and not get too close lest I fall at his feet and beg to be his slave for life.
So, back to where I began. Today I saw him in the lunch room carrying a tray and talking to another boy I didn't know, but had seen around. I think the other boy was on the football team, but I knew Dylan hadn't gone out for football, but maybe he was planning on joining mid-season or something. Or maybe he just liked hanging out with jocks.
Jocks are okay, but some of them are real airheads, and kind of mean. I'd had my share of bullying by their kind, though so far this year I'd had no trouble. Last hear was brutal though, and not just for me. 7th graders are new meat and fair game for any bullies, and even the teachers can't do much about it. You either took it or fought back and risked detention or worse, so I took a lot of it. Fortunately it was mostly verbal abuse, stuff like that: and I was called gay or fag or queer so many times I can't remember. Once I almost back-talked this fat ugly kid named Larry. When he said I was a fag I almost said, 'yeah, you make that sound like a bad thing'. I swear I almost did that, it's the comeback of the century, but also fatal for a little 7th grader trying to survive middle school.
So here I am, 8th grade, no longer fresh meat, I've established a friend base and my peers seem to accept me. If anyone suspects I like boys, no one has called me on it. I know I'm not the only one, but it's so hard to tell who likes who, or is it whom, these days. I mean, it's pretty natural for boys to hang with boys and girls to hang with girls, that's just...the way it is. But who's doing more than hanging out is impossible to tell from just looking.
I mean, I did some things with a few of my buds when we were younger, but as far as I know none of them are gay like me. When they started talking about girls and breasts and stuff I tried to keep up and go along, but I was dying inside wanting to talk about boys and abs and flat tummies and cute butts...he he.
But despite being gay and pretty much in the closet, I'm not a closet-case. I'm pretty well adjusted, I have friends, a nice family, and I manage to keep my hormones under control, most times.
However, today when I saw Dylan, I remembered that brief glimpse I'd gotten of him, shirtless, his skin glowing, a summer tan still evident, and it was if a video of that encounter was playing in my head. I could even clearly remember his belly button, so cute, like a wad of chewed up bubble gum, and just below it was that...ohmigod, was that the beginning of the path to paradise? Yes, it had to be, he was so masculine I was sure he was more manly than any boy in middle school, even the 9th graders. But, sadly, this was one more reason that I was sure he'd never pay a kid like me the slightest of attention, let alone be friends, even casual friends.
So, I figured I'm doomed to admire him from afar and dream about him while I do what most teenage boys do while they're in bed waiting for the sandman to come. Oh, shit... not that way...he he. I meant, arrive...lol.
I'll write more tomorrow, but right now all this talk about Dylan has me wanting to, ahem, replay that video of his shirtless body and take care of business...he he.
Omigod, this can't be happening. There's a new kid in my PE class, and two guesses who it is. Yeah, Dylan Hanes. For some reason he had to change periods and now my worst nightmare/fantasy has come true. Now, how am I gonna keep little Josh under control when I see him undressing in the locker room or...God do I even think it, in the shower, naked and as beautiful as that David statue by Michelangelo? No, no, no , this cannot be happening, but it is, and now I'm gonna have to deal with it.
Thank God that first day he was there he arrived late and coach didn't bother to make him dress out. So, he stood there in his designer clothes or whatever looking like something out of GQ, acting as if he was interested in what Coach was saying and probably bored out of his skull.
I tried to act cool, to just seem like one of the other guys and not some gawking idiot, but he was just too yummy not to sneak peeks of when I could. I noticed for the first time that day that he wore a gold chain around his neck and I wondered if some cow-eyed girl had given it to him and that made me sad. Why did all the beautiful boys have to be straight?
The period ended and I went off to the locker room with the other boys to shower and change. I thought to myself, 'thank God Dylan isn't gonna be around to see me get naked', but suddenly I heard a familiar voice behind me and I swung around to see the object of my fantasies talking to coach, who was apparently taking him on a tour of the place.
I was down to my underwear and I quickly grabbed my towel and stuff and headed to the showers. I was lucky, the last shower stall was empty and I practically ran to it and started showering as fast as I could.
This boy named Nicky came in just as I was rinsing off and took the shower head next to mine. Nicky was okay, I knew him from grade school though we'd never been close, but we'd talked a few times in PE class and were starting to become friends and lately he'd started sitting at my lunch table with my other friends.
"I can't believe Dylan is in our PE class now," Nicky huffed, "he thinks he's so great, but I don't see what all the fuss is about. I wonder if his daddy had something to do with his switching PE periods."
"Umm, don't know, you know...sometimes these things happen," I mumbled, trying not to sound angry or defensive. But if this jerk continued to belittle my crush I'd have to put the smack down on him. he he.
"Yeah, even coach acts like he's someone special though, giving him a tour and all. He never did that for us..."
Actually, he did, I wanted to say, right after taking role that first day, Coach had taken us on a brief tour, explained the mandatory showers, and so on and so forth. He also gave us a pretty good idea of what he expected from us and what he wanted us to accomplish that year. But again I didn't want to sound defensive or interested in Dylan in any way so I kept quiet, and soon Nicky was off on another subject, girls...yuck.
Nicky is the kind of boy who you overlook in a crowd. He's got mousy brown hair, hazel eyes and a boy-next-door look, which means he's not ugly, but he's not beautiful either. He's just...well...plain. Body wise I guess he's okay. I mean I've seen him naked and he's not bad, but he doesn't excite me. In fact, Dylan clothed is more exciting to me than a naked Nicky. So, maybe I'm not just a hormone driven drooling idiot after all. Maybe I'm not just crushing on Dylan, maybe I'm in love with him.
Wow, that's a frightening thought. What if I am? What if I can never love anyone else because I'm stuck on the one boy I can't possibly have? Sigh, why is life so complicated?
Anyway, by the time I was dressed and back in the locker room I guess Dylan had gone on to his next class. Since he hadn't dressed out or participated in any of the activities he was spared having to shower, or should I say: I was spared him having to shower?
I quickly threw my towel in the hamper, closed my locker and spun the combination lock then hurried off to my next class, where I got yet another shocker.
Yeah, you guessed it, sitting there in the third row, right behind Lisa Garret was...good old Dylan Hanes. WTF? I guess when they switched his PE class they did a major realignment of his schedule and I wondered, would he be popping up in other classes as well? Was this a conspiracy by the school to out me? Or were they trying to give my young heart a coronary from too much exposure to Dylan's awesomeness?
My desk was the third from the front on the first row, and that put Dylan even with me two rows over. Argghhh, now every time my eyes strayed to the left I'd see that Angel's face and devil's body, and how in the hell was I supposed to concentrate on what the teacher was saying? All I can say folks, is be careful what you wish for, cause you just might get it. And that was what happened to me. I'd subconsciously wished I had some classes with my crush, now I didn't know how I'd get through the day with that much exposure to that godlike boy.
One thing is sure, I'm probably going to be making a lot more bathroom trips between classes from now on...he he.
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